Hotel workers who hate

Hotel workers who hate

For anyone in hospitality who’s work load is affected by this infectious website, or more importantly the bogans, tight arses and weekend warriors it attracts…

For anyone who has come to loathe dealing with the plebs that book through WOTIF, for any one who has felt the pain of a 750 room weekend turn around. We have all been through it. From the moment they pull in the driveway, setting off a chain reaction of headaches for all staff who encounter them.

Following are some (funny, sometimes annoying) conversations hotel- staff has encountered.

Guest: “I dont think we can check in until 3 o’clock”
Staff: “Then why the fuck did you show up at 9:30…”

Guest: “Im not sure what name its booked under”
Staff: “Its probably under your name, genius…”

Guest: “Oh be careful, have you driven one of these before?”
Staff: “Yes, unfortunately i have parked many ’86 VL commodores…”

Guest: “I dont know what room were in, how do you know where to send my bags?”
Staff: “The strange square object in front of me will tell me. Its called a computer…”

Guest: “Oh im sorry, I dont have any money on me at the moment. Whats time do you finish, I’ll come and find you when I get some change and give you a tip.”
Staff: “Thats not necessary, dont worry about it.”
Guest: “No I feel really bad. Whats your name? Im so sorry, I promise I’ll fix you up later.”
Staff: “Yeah, sure….”

Guest: “This isnt the view i booked, and i wanted a king bed”
Staff: “Yes, it is the view you booked its the shit view because your paying a shit rate, and yes you have booked a twin bed it says right here on your confirmation…”

Guest: “My TV remote is broken it doesnt work”
Staff: “It will if you push the big red button on the top that says power…”

Guest: “I left my mobile phone in my car”
Staff: “So how come when the Doorman asked when you arrived, have you got all your belongings out of the car before we park it, you said yes…”

Guest: “Are the slippers free?”
Staff: “Yes…”
Guest: “Then can I have another pair?”

Guest: “I left a pair of shoes in my car”
Staff: “Then why the fuck didnt you ask when we went to get your phone..?”

Guest: “Were checking out but our parking is still valid, can we store our bags while we go for a walk?”
Staff: “Certainly, how many pieces?”
Guest: “Just the 4 bags. And my coat. And my pillow. And the flowers. Oh and the pram. And another coat. And the umbrella. Is it going to rain? Actually ill take the umbrella. No, wait ill leave it…”

Guest: “Can I get my car up?”
Staff: “Yes sir, do you have your ticket?”
Guest: “I didnt get one”
Staff: “The Doorman gave it to you when you checked in and said, this is the ticket for your car.”
Guest: “Do I need it?”
Staff: “No you fucking moron we just give them out for fun.”
Guest: “Its a white commodore”
Staff: “Thank you thats a tremendous help…”

Guest: “What, I have to pay for parking? I booked a VIP package parking was included”
Staff: “No you didnt have a VIP package, you booked a SCUMBAG WEEKEND SPECIAL on WOTIF.COM which was a room only. Not only that you booked the cheapest option available which clearly stated PARKING NOT INCLUDED.”

Guest: “Is breakfast all you can eat?”
Staff: “It is a buffet, yes.”
Guest: “So I can eat as much as I want?”
Staff: “Yes.”
Guest: “How much is it?”
Staff: “Its $36 per person.”
Guest: “Oh. Can we just share one between the two of us?”
Staff: “No you cant, its $36 PER PERSON.”
Guest: “Oh… Wheres the nearest McDonalds?”

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Your work in hospitality and encountered such conversations? Please add your experience in the comments.

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